Too Lazy

I s'pose that I ought to tell all about my adventure as a a girl living in the early eighteen hundreds, but I'm a bit lazy, so next time I'll tell all! Which includes (Just to give you a preview) a poisonous snake, a deadly gun, climbing a 'Kansas mountain' several times a day, extreme heat, several layers of clothing, bright red sunburns, mud, dirty hems, icky porta pottys, exploring, ticks, catching a large mouth bass, talking to strangers, and much, much more! It's all coming up in a all time classic, "Old Fashioned Camping"! Stay tuned for more.

The Cookie Thief

Here is a cool thing I found in a Chicken Soup book. And even though it is not old fashioned, I thought that it was quite telling.

The Cookie thief,
A woman was waiting at an airport one night
With several long hours before her flight
She hunted for a book in the airport shop
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop

She was engrossed in her book, but happened to see,
That the man beside her, bold as could be,
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag between
Which she tried to ignore, to avoid a scene

She read, munched cookies, and watched the clock
As the gutsy “cookie thief” diminished her stock
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,
Thinking, “If I wasn’t so nice, I’d blacken his eye!”

With each cookie she took, he took one too
When only one was left, she wondered what he’d do.
With a smile on his face and a nervous laugh
He took the last cookie and broke it in half

He offered her half, as he ate the other.
She snatched it from him and thought, “Oh brother,
This guy has some nerve, and he’s also rude
Why, he didn’t even show any gratitude!”

She had never known when she had been so galled,
And sighed with relief when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings, and headed for the gate,
Refusing to look back at the “thieving ingrate”

She boarded the plane and sank into her seat,
Then sought her book, which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise.
There was her bag of cookies in front of her eyes!

“If mine are here,” she moaned with despair,
“Then the others were his and he tried to share!”
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief!

By Valerie Cox, from A third serving of Chicken Soup for the soul

Going Old Fashioned Camping!

I am very excited, because this week for two days I get to be a person from the late seventeenth century, and the early eighteenth century. We will be living, eating, dressing, and cooking just as they did on the frontier back then. We aren’t allowed anything modern, and I am extremely excited, it’s going to be so cool! We are going to be camping, and I just hope I don’t get any ticks, yuck! Last year they had a pan throwing contest, where the wives got to heave pans at their husbands’ heads. Apparently one lady almost hit her husband dead center, and he didn’t even flinch. I have no clue why they do that, I guess it does give the ladies a chance to legally kill their husbands, but why they would want to do that? But they aren’t doing it again this year. Rats! I am mad that I won’t be able to wear my hoopskirt, they wouldn’t have worn them on the frontier because they would have been in the way. I shall have incredibly flat skirts I guess. I just can't wait, I am very excited!

The Marys

There has always been some confusion about the difference between Mary, Queen of Scots, and Bloody Mary, so I thought I’d clear it up.

*Mary, Queen of Scots was Mary Stuart, the daughter of King James V of Scots, she was born in 1542 and became queen when she was one week old. She was married to Prince Francis, the son of King Henry II of France, in 1558. She also married many other dudes after each one died, and had a son, James VI. She was beheaded by Queen Elizabeth I of England in 1587.

*Bloody Mary, was Mary Tudor, Queen Elizabeth’s half sister, the daughter of Henry VIII and his first wife Catherine of Aragon. She became queen in 1553 and married Phillip II, king of Spain. She died childless in 1558 at the age of 43. Elizabeth I succeeded her and when she died in 1603, Mary Stuart’s son, James VI became king of England and ruled from 1603 to 1625.

*So, as you can see, Mary Stuart/Mary Queen of Scots, and Mary Tudor/Bloody Mary are two totally different people. I have always gotten them confused, so it was very helpful for me to get them straightened out.

I find this era of history in England, Spain, France, and Germany to be utterly fascinating, so if I write more on all those countries, bear with me!

Last Night

Last night I got to go to the Royal’s baseball game. They, of course, lost like always. But I had lots of fun just being there, I barely ever get to go to games, so it was exciting. Our seats were seven rows back from the dugout; I have never sat that close before! My hands got on the jumbo screen twice, and my face got on once. The time my face got on, I was like, “That person is not very pretty.” then all of a sudden it hit me that that was me! You know how at games you get used to seeing people you don’t know? Well, I was just sitting there and I was really used to seeing unknown faces, when all of a sudden, I looked down the row at one of the friends I went with, and I thought to myself, “That kid looks oddly familiar!”! My mind definitely collapsed at the end of the game, ‘cause I thought that everything that happened was funny. That hot dog launch thing was cool, it headed two rows back from us, where it bounced off into the row right behind us. The guys two rows back from us were in such a hurry to get the hot dog that they spilled their beer all over the guy right behind us! My brother just reached down behind the seat and plucked up the hot dog, I felt very sorry for the guy who got beer spilled all over him, but not sorry enough to give him the hot dog. By the way, those hotdogs are kinda gross! One of the fly balls landed way up top; I saw an old guy slide down to the ground in his haste for the ball. I then made the mistake of telling my friend right beside me a little loudly, and as we laughed at the old guy, two really old guys behind us heard! Poor them. It turned out that my youth pastor was also at the game, he sat higher up than us, and came down to say hello. I was sitting right on the end of all the seats and he came up next to me and said pretty much into my ear: “So are you enjoying the game?” I am afraid that I jumped really high, he startled me so much! At first I had thought he was some weirdo, because one of the guys behind us looked like the Creepy Guy. Well, anyway, it took a long time for my heart to stop pounding so hard, he scared me so much! Being as close as we were, I suddenly got a weird longing to go out onto that freshly mowed field and run around! To make matters worse, I wanted to wear my hoopskirt and do it! I could just imagine running around in my hoopskirt causing thousands of people to stare at me! All and all I had a very good time, despite the fact that I wasn’t allowed onto the field! Rats!

Very Funny Funnies

I found these hilarious bloopers in Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul. I think they funny, and I hope you do too!

Wholly Holy Bloopers

The tradition of holy howlers popping up in religiously related documents continue undimmed. Witness the following sampling of bona fide bloopers culled from various church bulletins and orders of service:

*The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind, and they can be seen in the church basement Friday afternoon.

*On Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the expense of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet will please come forward to get a piece of paper.

*Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Oct. 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in school days.

*This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north end of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

*For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

*The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing “Break Forth In Joy”.

*This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs.White to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

*The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.

*Thursday at 5pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers will please meet with the minister in the study.

*During the abscence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

*The Ladies Literary Society will meet. Mrs. Clark will sing “Put Me In My Little Bed”. Accompanied by the pastor.

*Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on “It’s A Terrible Experience.”

*Due to the Rector’s illness. Wednesday’s healing service will be discontinued until further notice.

*Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

*The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 pm. The whole congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

*Twenty two members were present at the church meeting at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, “The Lord Knows Why”.

*Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.

*Today’s sermon "How Much Can A Man Drink?". With hymns from a full choir

*Potluck supper: Prayer and medication to follow.

*Don’t let worry kill you off---let the church help!

Long may these bloopers live. Such unintentional levity brings lightness as well as light to many an otherwise dry church bulletin By Richard Lederer From Chicken Soup for the Christians Soul.

Gottcha!!!

Test your knowledge of history! I have got some really random facts here, so don’t be alarmed if you don’t know them!


Questions
*What are the names of the Titanic’s two sister ships, and what was the name one of them was going to be before the disaster?

*Who was the guy next in line for the Austrian throne that was assassinated by a Serb in 1914?

*Who killed him and his wife? What was the date?

*Who was the fifth president of the United States?

*What was the name of King Tut’s wife?

*What was the name of the Lusitania’s sister ship?

*What is a burnouse?

I would love to do a gigantic quiz on the Titanic, so beware, that will be coming up very soon!

Egypt

I'm back! I actually used to have a different blog, but I can't use it any more for some reason, I hope this one works. I someday hope to go to Egypt, I want to be a archaeologist, I have been reading a lot lately about Egypt and I find it to be so darn cool! I think the fact that they thought that they had to be buried with tons of stuff to use it in the afterlife kinda dumb, but it made it so that we would be able to find all the stuff now. I think that the story of King Tut is really cool. But I like think of his wife/half sister, after Tut died (most likely murdered), she sent a message to the king of her worst enemies, the Hittites, asking him to send one of his sons so she could marry him. She writes that she is afraid, and that she doesn't want to marry a servant. The Hittite king does send a prince to her, but he is ambushed and killed on the way. She is then forced to marry her husband's advisor, who had made Tut pretty much his puppet king. She then disappears from all historical records. I think it is really sad, because she and Tut where only ten when they were married, she had two miscarriages, her husband died when she is eighteen, and then she is forced to marry the man who most likely had her husband murdered. It is also possible that after she married that dude, he had her murdered. He didn't need her anymore, after all, he married her for the throne and once he got it, she was no longer necessary. All I can say is: Poor girl. I find her story to be both tragic and cool. Tragic for her, but cool for a history geek like me.

Introduction

OK, I am a Titanic/history geek. I absolutely love anything that has to do with the Titanic. I might write about many things, so just bear with me. I like to write about the Titanic, the Lusitania, ancient Egypt, the eighteen hundreds, and all other eras in the past. I find history to be utterly fascinating. I hope that people will actually post on here, because on my last blog no one at all posted. I am a avid book reader, anything but science fiction interests me. I like historical fiction and historical nonfiction more than anything. I also enjoy dressing up like an old fashioned person, and living like they did a long time ago. I really love to reenact at old houses and stuff. Next week I get to be frontier person for a two days, it shall be delightfully fun, and I cannot wait. Well, I guess that's good enough for a introduction. I hope you enjoy my blog!